


Taking Out the Laundry

by Draxynnic



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Laundromat AU, Technically G but probably not suited to any sane audience, but not like you've seen it before, here comes the crack again, or most not-sane audiences for that matter, unless you know some very strange people...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 17:47:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15587322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draxynnic/pseuds/Draxynnic
Summary: "You have to transform and stop Stoneheart!" the little creature, which had called itself a 'kwami', urged."And what, precisely, am I going to transforminto?""Errr..." the kwami deferred, obviously nervous. "About that..."





	Taking Out the Laundry

**Author's Note:**

> While the community prompts are great and all, seeing so many "Laundromat AU" titles in one day did something to my brain. And you know what they say - misery loves company.
> 
> Unedited, because I have no delusions that any amount of editing could make this anything other than what it is. Suffer!
> 
> EDIT: _Now_ it's been edited, because someone pointed out that I got the gendering of a noun wrong.

Alya knew that, where there were supervillains, there would be superheroes that arose to fight them.

And sometimes those superheroes would be a little, well,  _not normal._

But this... whatever it was she expected, perhaps an animal-themed superhero or two, this was  _not_ it. If she didn't have video evidence, she's pretty sure she wouldn't believe it. She's still not entirely sure this isn't some weird dream.

'This', to be precise, was a spin dryer that had launched itself at the rock golem supervillain calling itself 'Stoneheart', propelled by an extending pole. He - Alya had a strange feeling that was the correct pronoun to use, even though he was, to all appearances, an ambulatory appliance - had impacted in the side of the supervillain's head and rolled across the oval, but like every attack that had been made against the villain, it only appeared to have made it stronger.

Then, the dryer rolled back into an upright position, just in time to avoid being crushed by a giant stone fist. Now, he was clomping around the giant golem in a frantic effort to avoid being crushed - achieving locomotion without legs by launching itself into the air off his front edge, turning in the air so that it was his back edge that came down on the ground (leaving noticeable divots in the artificial turf) before rocking forward to launch off the front edge once again.

Obviously, brave as this appliance was, he wasn't able to beat the monster on his own. Just as Alya was coming to this realisation, she glanced back up into the bleachers. Among the seats, apparently watching the proceedings with a nervous air, was a front-loading washing machine.

Alya suddenly had the feeling that  _this_ piece of white goods happened to be female.

Feeling a little sheepish - Alya would look  _really_ silly in the video if her hunch turned out to be wrong - Alya called out. "Hey, you there! Washer-girl, in the bleachers! Now might be a good time to do something!"

Her hunch was, apparently, correct, as an impossibly long hosepipe shot out from the washing machine to yank the dryer away from Stoneheart, moments before the dryer's career in... would 'superappliancehood' be the right word? ...was cut tragically short by a massive stone fist. The hosepipe deposited the dryer next to the oval's goalposts, before its owner bounded out of the bleachers to land next to her apparent companion.

The two began exchanging a series of electronic beeps, first one, than the other, until the tumble-dryer rocked up to the goal and popped his door. Alya's eyes widened as, at a touch of the door, the goalposts immediately rusted over and crumbled.

The dryer gave a confident series of beeps before bounding forward, ignoring the plaintive beeps of his companion appliance. Reaching the golem's foot, the dryer once again popped his door into the golem's toes.

Nothing happened, apart from a panicked beeping from the dryer, and a roar of triumph from Stoneheart as he lifted the dryer into the air.

Well, that's one of the world's strangest heroes down. Alya turns the camera to the other to catch her response.

Apparently, that was to launch one of her hoses into the air.

"Bip-beeeep BEEP!"

Was that... yes, it  _was_ a stream of ladybugs emanating from the end of the hose. After a few moments, the apparently magic insects coalesced together in order to form...

...a pack of ladybug-patterned expanding foam? What was she going to do with that?

Mount a suicidal charge at the golem, it seemed. Within moments, both super-appliances were caught in Stoneheart's grip.

Well, that seemed to be that, then... Alya thought she even heard a gurgle of despair from the washing machine.

Wait...

Alya zooms the camera for a closer look. Yes, there was the foam, expanding from within Stoneheart's fist and steadily forcing it open. Within seconds, the washing machine dropped from the golem's grip, her fall cushioned by the foam.

Next to her was a wadded-up piece of paper, glowing an ominous purple. The washing machine... the only word Alya could think of to describe it was that she  _pounced._ Grabbing the paper with the end of one hose, the washing machine opened her door just enough to pop the cursed paper inside.

Then the machine went into the washing cycle. It was probably the fastest washing cycle any such machine had gone through, however, since it was less than a minute before the door opened again and the washing machine burped out a white-glowing butterfly that drifted off into the sky.

Well, that was weird.

However, the cleaning apparently wasn't done, as the washing machine began using her hoses to gather as much of the expanding foam as she could, before the door slammed shut and the spin cycle started. Ten seconds afterwards, the door opened once again and vomited forth a swarm of ladybugs. Some wrapped themselves around Stoneheart in a tornado, leaving a restored Ivan in their wake and depositing the dryer safely on the turf. Others whirled around the oval, clearing up the dents and divots across the ground and rebuilding the rusted-away goal. Yet more shot up into the sky, presumably to undo more damage that had been done elsewhere.

Alya cheered. They might be the strangest superheroes she had ever seen, but it seemed they got the job done...

* BONUS *

After an extended beeeeeeeeeeeep of frustration, Gabriel willed his transformation to an end with a sigh of relief, before turning to confront his kwami. "Nooroo, I understand that power must have its price, but does it  _have_ to turn me into an oven of all things?"

"Well, master..." Nooroo answered with a shaking voice, "I am the kwami of change, after all..."

"And what does that have to do with turning me into an oven?"

"Because they change uncooked ingredients into delicious meals!"

Gabriel's scream of frustration was matched only by that which had emerged from the throats of two teenagers less than an hour before, when they had each received some less-than-welcome news...

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this based on memory of the Origins episode. Some inaccuracies may be present, but I think that when we're starting with the superheroes being ambulatory appliances in the first place, I'm not going to sweat the details.
> 
> Marinette made sure that she knew _exactly_ what she had to do in this scenario because she was determined not to spend any more time as a sapient washing machine than she _absolutely had to_.


End file.
